Just Thinking of You

I’m sitting alone here in my room

And thinking how it would be if you were here

So many weeks have passed

It was so beautiful when you were with me

When you are here I have no troubles

But I have to wait for a long time

Until we can lie in each other’s arms again

You are my half

And I’m the other half of you

Only when we’re together we feel complete

You can feel me

And I can feel you

When we’re together we can do miracles

I enjoy every second you’re with me

You’re sitting alone there in your room

And you feel just like me

The only thing we want is to see each other again

But it feels like it’ll never happen

Until we can lie in each other’s arms again

You are my half

And I’m the other half of you

Only when we’re together we feel complete

You can feel me

And I can feel you

When we’re together we can do miracles

I enjoy every second you’re with me

And it’s so long

I have to wait for so long

Until I can hold you in my arms again

03.01.20

Just Thinking of You, Park, grün, blonde Haare, Frau, rote Lippen, weißes Hemd, blaue Augen

Operation Nurse

I never wanted something else as this

I know I belong there

Even if some don't believe this

I'd like to get up at 5 o'clock

Because I felt like a part of the whole thing

I don't know why I don't fit in there

You said I'm too young and too quiet

But they are weak reasons

Why shouldn't I do that what makes me fun?

Only because I am like I am?

But you can't know me after just five weeks

With every day which brought me closer to the end

I loved it much more

And that's why it is so hard to let it go

The last years weren't good

But now I found something what made me fun

And it's hard to become an operation nurse

Maybe you want to protect me from something

But I don't know from what

And that's why I'll come back and do that you thought of I could never do it

Why shouldn't I do that what makes me fun?

Only because I am like I am?

But you can't know me after just five weeks

With every day which brought me closer to the end

I loved it much more

And that's why it is so hard to let it go

I miss it to watch all the operations

And to see things which many never seen in their lives

I touched a bare bone

I saw a caesarean section

I saw a 17 year old girl

After she had thrown herself under a train

And I saw 16 open hearts

27.03.20

Operation Nurse, grau, blau, OP-Schwester, Handschuhe, Kittel, Mundschutz, Haube

Isolated

It’s like no one understands me

I feel so alone here

I can tell thousands of stories and no one will understand it

Just someone who has been through this too knows this feeling

But there are just a few

People who think they know me

Suggest anything

But I know it’s idiocy

It’ll never work

They don’t know what it is

But I don’t reproach someone with it

How should someone understand it who has never been there

No one can help me

There are no consoling words for what I have to go through every day

I really tried everything

You can just go through it

Nothing else

People who think they know me

Suggest anything

But I know it’s idiocy

It’ll never work

They don’t know what it is

But I don’t reproach someone with it

How should someone understand it who has never been there

All that happens there stays there

No one from the outside will know about it

People who think they know me

Suggest anything

But I know it’s idiocy

It’ll never work

They don’t know what it is

But I don’t reproach someone with it

How should someone understand it who has never been there

02.10.20

Isolated, Haus, Eingang, draußen, Frau, blonde Haare, schwarze Hose

My Frist Love

I never had someone like you before

It lasted so long until we found us

Now we are together but I don't feel happy

Not even one week 'til the first quarrel

A bit more than two weeks until the first tears ran

You are my first love

But why didn't we get a chance?

I see the day coming too fast

When we will separate

We drift away from each other

Neither I nor you can stop it

I know it's not what we both wanted

Not even one week 'til the first quarrel

A bit more than two weeks until the first tears ran

You are my first love

But why didn't we get a chance?

I see the day coming too fast

When we will separate

02.12.22

Your Words

It's always the same problem

But this time it is different

Because you're different

You aren't anywhere you are here

I can really be a part of your life

But only if you don't keep reserved

I don't know you but you words mean so much to me

They cause so many emotions in me

Love, rage, hope, despair

Will we find a solution?

What if we don't find it?

I know that we can't go on this way

You don't think about that

You don't mind

But I'm already thinking too much again

I don't know you but you words mean so much to me

They cause so many emotions in me

Love, rage, hope, despair

You don't know what you're worth to me

That's why everything is so easy for you

For you there's only love or nothing

But to myself it is different

You don't want what I want

I don't want what you want

I don't know you but you words mean so much to me

They cause so many emotions in me

Love, rage, hope, despair

26.05.23

Your Words, Park, Augengeschlossen, rote Lippen, Frau, kurze Haare

A Better Place

I was 6 years old when I saw you for the first time

And you were quite small too

You were by my side for more than half of my life

No other pet could ever replace this

The last thing you sensed was my hand holding you

You held on for so long

But you weren’t supposed to survive this Wednesday in April

I can’t believe how this day progressed

But there comes a day when everyone has to go
And suddenly it was there
I knew it would come sometime
But then everything happened so fast
You fell asleep for all time
I know it’s a better place where you are now
It was right to let you go
Even though it was so hard for me

I thought you’d stay by my side for many more years

But unfortunately, you didn’t

Because you were in the wrong body

I hope I made the right choices

And you didn’t have to suffer needlessly

We didn’t have much time, but I’m glad for every single day

I know you’re well now and that you’ve found some friends in heaven

And here I am, asking myself why

But there comes a day when everyone has to go
And suddenly it was there
I knew it would come sometime
But then everything happened so fast
You fell asleep for all times
I know it’s a better place where you are now
It was right to let you go
Even though it was so hard for me

I know you are in a better place now
Not a day passes when I don’t think of you both
I loved you so much and I hope you were happy being with me
Every tear I shed was worth it, for you
There will probably come a day when I’ll wake up happy
But right now I miss you very much

26.05.23

Hedgehog

It's not easy 'cause you don't live here
But that doesn't have to be the end
Let's enjoy the time we have together

Don’t think too much about it
Just see where it leads us to

When I'm with you I forget everything around me
It's like the world keeps on spinning without us
We can't see each other so often
But for this short time I'm happy

20 meters below the surface there's just us and the calm

It's so beautiful here, I don't wanna come back

I am so happy to share this with you

When I'm with you I forget everything around me
It's like the world keeps on spinning without us
We can't see each other so often
But for this short time I'm happy

Now I’m alone here and know nothing at all

You said everything was fine between us

But it doesn’t feel like that

I don’t know how you feel about me

Suddenly everything is different

I think a lot about you but I don’t think you cherish it

I told you so often you can be honest with me if you don’t want this anymore

When I'm with you I forget everything around me
It's like the world keeps on spinning without us
We can't see each other so often
But for this short time I'm happy

31.12.18